Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
