She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
