Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Lo siento on account of my penis...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
