Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
