This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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