Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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