Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
