i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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