After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
