I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
