btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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