Three words: puerto rican gang bang
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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