Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
