I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You smell like stripper and shame
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
