i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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