real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
