have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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