ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
