just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It was like giving head to a cactus.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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