life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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