I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
