apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
now i know why i became what i already was.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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