Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I want to fling myself into the sun
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
