sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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