someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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