arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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