Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My breasts were aching with rage.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
