either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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