Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
