I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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