ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
