"it" just moved
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
