I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
