She's JV to your varsity
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
