I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sext me about skeletons
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
