people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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