Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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