woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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