every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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