Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
