Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
