The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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