I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
