You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
