turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
