I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
