Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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