Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
