I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
