i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
