you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
did i just pee glitter
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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