My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
