I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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